菜英文笑話
《一》
美國政府和蘋果公司現下共同的難題是什麼?
What is the same problem need to be solved for both U.S government and The Apple Computer?
Ans: Job(s)less
《二》
為什麼賈伯斯最後推動蘋果的雲端最終計劃?
Why Steve Jobs planed the cloud for the comprehensive total solution just before his passing away ?
Answer : Because he knew his personal program may shut down at any moment , he needed to prepare somewhere to go for upgrading , of course, if he didn’t go somewhere else down blew.
《三》
菜英文一
最早移民美國的廣東人，在洋人吃飯的地方發現有熱食狗肉（hot dog），為之興奮不已；等東西端上桌來，不免失望又生氣的大聲對著服務生說：「I like dog , but not this part, OK!! 」
菜英文二
台灣留學生一個人偷偷摸摸地到煽情書報攤看playboy，看著看著不小心碰觸到旁邊一個大老黑。大老黑頗為不滿地看著他說：「Hey man what’s up!」留學生囁嚅地說：「Sorry! It’s …it’s my bird.」
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(一) 工作是 jobs，
蘋果公司的教父甚麼的，他的姓氏就是 Jobs.
less 就是沒有了
美國的經濟失敗，很多人失業，沒有了工作 jobless，因此令美國政府相當頭痛。
(二) 賈伯斯需要終止那個雲端計劃嘛，無非是要在爆煲之前，早些離開，往別的地方去，去實行提升他的雲端計劃耶！
【爆煲】廣束話，意指失敗。
【personal program】指賈伯斯他自己的一生。
(三) 廣東人甚麼都吃，尤奇喜嗜狗肉，聽到英文有個 dog 字就以為有狗肉吃耶！殊知此狗不同彼狗矣！
廣東話的狗字與 "九" 是同音字。三加六是九，因此常用 "三六" 去暗指狗肉的。在這裡順便一提。
(四) When he is reading the blue picture, his physiological reflection would be occurred.
[版主回覆12/24/2011 11:10:41]The chocolate asked him about what he is reading？
The Taiwan student is misunderstanding about the word "up"
What's up？ Actually means "What is it？"
The chocolate is not talking about "taking up".
【Chocolate】This word is the euphemism for negro.
感謝香港兄弟廣為解釋，說文解字一翻，省了在下不少功夫。
不知道negro一詞現今會不會有rasim的語態問題，或許太敏感了點。
(一)
)
簡直如預言又如先知，所謂死有輕於鴻毛、重於泰山，沒想到賈伯斯竟還能預言美國的失業率。(不過，我並不喜歡賈伯斯的作風
(二)
妙哉!伊甸園的蘋果終究返還!
這第三顆蘋果看來是打算在天堂另起爐灶了!
另兩則只能乾笑!!
呵呵!
[版主回覆12/24/2011 11:15:12]
不喜歡賈伯斯的作風，可能是比較客氣的說法，我超不欣賞他；但如同他也不在乎別人一樣，大家無妨！
開開Jobsless 的玩笑，好過有些黑色訃聞笑話直接不諱的表逹。
乾笑也算笑噢！！
hmm....今時今日嘛
說 "白種" The White .....不是歧視。
說 "黃種" The Yellow .... 都不是岐視。
說 "黑種" The Black ..... 可能是岐視。
只準說白，不準道黑！
Dark，Negro, Black ..... 都是黑。
所以就出現了一個 婉委詞 (euphemism) 稱黑人為巧克力 (chocolate) 了，
chocolate 這個代用名詞是我去英國旅行的時候在倫敦學得的。
[版主回覆12/24/2011 22:11:09]什麼顏色有什麼關係，心是紅的，不是黑的就好了。
巧克力是個好用詞，因為讓人想到甜美和香醇。。
說到 "吃狗肉" 老外認為這是蠻風野人的行為，簡直是不可思異 Oh My God！
所以鴉片戰爭，英國人取得香港以後
就馬上下令 "禁止吃狗肉！"
雖然，1997年開始，英國人已經撤離香港，
呢狗肉與否？ 英國人是管不著的喔！
可是，香港的廣東人受了150年的移風易俗
狗肉嘛 .... 已經沒有在我們的生活字典裡出現了！
看倌們，如果您看見有人在吃狗肉的話
那麼，斷正他是廣東人......這個，九成沒錯。
不過，這個正在吃狗肉的人，他就九成不是香港的廣東人了。
際此聖誕佳節
今晚又臨平安夜 (Silent Night)
我香港友人就用很菜的英文
來作一首詩，以便應應節吧！
《 I Hear The Angels Sing》
Christmas trees can be seen with light
I hear someone who is singing the song " It Came Upon Clear Midnight "
Angels are sending good news from far away
Since I know Christmas is coming on the way
[版主回覆12/24/2011 22:08:08]For I think , Hong Kong brother is our Angel from far away...I recall recently a group of young Chinese girls appeared in a German TV talk show for some sort of promtion. The TV host noticed their English is fair so he decided to have fun with them. He asked them which dog Taste the best, and how to do them. The girls fell for it, because they missed the key word of taste. They though they were asked which dog they like the best. So every thing they said about dogs is a laughing joke for the audience. [版主回覆12/25/2011 08:22:11]
Merry X'mas Lao Zhu...
Funny Joke...Taste haha!! tricky German...
天天大哥! 偶的菜英文
只會:
Merry Christmas & Happy new year!
[版主回覆12/26/2011 08:16:02]大阿娟,：
講了一整套，這樣已經比菜英文好很多了。
Merry Christmas & Happy new year!!
Merry Xmas to you, Captain.
My family all went out to shop, I am home alone to find the electronic hot-plate in the empty garage for the dinner, suddenly a few words from the obasan from Shandong, Mrs. Chao 趙媽媽, came to my mind. I know you will recognize who she was after reading her words. Don't worry, I am not suffering a depression, just overwhelmed by the powerful words.
寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，悽悽惨惨戚戚
[版主回覆12/26/2011 16:38:35]哈哈哈...Lao Zhu 李清照的詞用的好，but I felt that may be I should bring a bottle of spirit to visit you to have a quick drink before your family back home...
you are such an amazing guy, abundent with Chinese classic style, and all new American point of views....
哈哈~通通都很好笑~~ [版主回覆12/29/2011 09:28:31]大妹子只要是罵民Ｘ黨的，妳大慨都好笑吧！！