40歲以上的女人 (轉自網友email)
這是美國CBS 60 Minutes (六十分鐘 )主持人 Andy Rooney對40歲以上 的女人的看法:
( )內是天天註
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.
隨著年齡增長, 我越來越珍惜40歲以上的女人
Here are just a few reasons why:
為什麼呢?
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
40歲以上的 女人不會在半夜把你吵醒, 然後問你 :
"What are you thinking?"
你在想什麼? (我看自己睡到打呼了吧!)
She doesn't care what you think.
她才不在乎你在想什麼。(只要不花她的錢,但你錢從哪兒來的,這要查乎查乎)
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game,
40歲以上的女人如果不想看球賽
she doesn't sit around whining about it.
她不會坐在 你旁邊抱怨東抱怨西 (只要家中有第二台電視)
She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
她會去做她想做的、更有趣的事情 (球賽無趣嗎?)
Women over 40 are dignified.
40歲以上的女人穩重自持 (重則有之,穏則尚待查明之)
They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera
不會在歌劇院或高級餐廳裡
or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
跟你大呼小叫(出了門口你就慘了,剉的等!)
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you
當然,如果你罪有應得,她們也可能神不知鬼不覺地
if they think they can get away with it.
一槍把你給斃了。(掃地出門,一文不名的男人多的是!)
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
熟女不吝於讚美 ( 不管是不是實至名歸)(真的嗎?)
They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
因為她們親身體驗過被忽略的滋味
Women get psychic as they age.
女人越老 越通靈
You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
你永遠不需要向40歲以上的女人懺悔 (準備挨揍就好了!)
Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
只要能夠對皺紋視而不見 (花了不少錢都搞不見了!)
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
40歲以上的女人遠比年輕美眉性感
Older women are forthright and honest.
熟女直接又誠實
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
如果你是 蠢蛋 她們會馬上叫你滾蛋
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
你完全不需要傷腦筋揣摩她的心意 (真的嗎?我看作者腦筋有問題。)
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
40歲以上的女人有很多優點 (這點我承認!)
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
40歲以上的男人呢 ?
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
相對於每一 個性感、迷人的40歲以上的女人
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
就有一個禿頭凸肚的熟男
making a fool of himself with some 20-year old waitress.
厚臉皮地跟小他20歲的美眉調情
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say,
幫妳們說句公道話女士們,請容許我在這兒:
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?",
那些說只想喝免費的牛奶而不願買頭母牛回家的男人
here's an update for you.
實在是太搞不清楚狀況了
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
今天 有80%的女人寧願不結婚
Why?
為什麼呢 ?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig
因為她們終於發現不需要為了一根香腸
just to get a little sausage!
買回整隻豬!
天天註:
男人40以上,對人生許多事已開看多了,即便是偶而叨叨絮絮的不上道,那是動物的基本反應。尤其做了父母親之後,男人從唯唯喏喏的兒子,成了唯唯喏喏的老子,男人總在想:俺老爹那一套,咱用不到兒子女兒身上;俺老爹年輕時是一家之主,一言九鼎,到老來才節節敗退,怎麼到了咱,一開始就全線潰敗,在家中是一家之伕,一言九頂。
對40以上的男人來說:
l 一言九鼎:是一言九頂,不過只有四、五頂,就應該開心了。
l 舉一隅不以三隅反:是講一件事,至少舉出你過往三件錯事或列出不可行至少三處。
l 一曝十寒:吵一架的後果是十天以上的冷戰,40以上了,算了,不吵了,挨著吧!
l 武松打虎:咱是家中老虎沒錯,那武松可正是另一半。
l 二心齊心,其利斷金:這齊心可是要你齊她的心,了嗎?
l 朝三暮四,然則朝四暮三?(莊子):零用錢會加給你的,朝三暮四還是反之?咱得像個猴似地,開心的吱吱叫!
治療PTT的妙方:(女人勿看)
有位怕太太的人經心理醫生指導,每天在洗澡時在浴室對著鏡子練習,大聲說:不怕妳,不怕妳,不怕妳,。。。。如此半年,醫生說:行將有成矣!有天正在練習時,不料門沒關好,太座開門進來,杏眼圓睜叉腰詰問:你在說啥?男子氣定神閒的繼續練:不怕妳,不怕妳,不怕妳,我還怕誰?
小妞們,40以上的男人才是好男人啊!!
說說笑笑,不傷大雅!
凡事用心,互相讓步,互相欣賞對方的優點,並回想當初交往時你喜歡他的每一點,記得嗎??